Purposeful Faith

Tearing Down Your Tower of Self

Tower of Self

Sometimes I scare myself.

I see that ugly side of me, the side I normally try to hide from the camera.

The Kelly who wants to be someone.
The Kelly who wants adoration, affirmation and appreciation.
The Kelly who needs to be seen and loved.

It normally appears in a crutched moment of inadequacy where I require dose of feel-better medicine to get me feeling good about myself again.

In these moments, I start believing:

Greatness and prominence trump Christ’s gift of significance.
That no one notices humility, but they notice desirability.
That recognition is fuel and that submission is old school.

I am learning I have to keep an eye on the thermometer of my heart, because when the its-about-me heat starts to rise, my heart grows cold, love freezes over and I lose track of the one I love most.

Me. Myself. I.
How am I seen? What will I do?
What will I build? Am I as good?

Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be dispersed over the face of the whole earth. Genesis 11:4

To make a name.

Is that what I want?

Because, I full well know, it is only about one name: The name above all names, the alpha and omega, the lion and the lamb, the great I AM, the hope of glory, the Savior of the world, the beginning and the end. It all starts and ends with him.  

At days end, my name will be worth nothing and his will be worth everything.

At days end, accomplishments will fade and all that will remain is love.

At days end, stages vanish.  The great stage of godliness, purity and humility will be all that endures.

Anything done in my name will be a signature destined for a shredder upon my final days, but anything done in his name will last forever.

Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. Ps. 127:1

Without Jesus, my best words are babble. If it’s not spoken in the dialect of love, it’s spoken in the dialect of stupidity.

It’s like speaking worthless syllables of a tribal language to a two-year old – they are destined to be edited, obliterated or forgotten. They just speak confusion.

Therefore its name was called Babel (close to Hebew word confusing), because there the Lord confused the language of all the earth. Gen. 11:9

Am I babbling in futility or am I loving in humility?
Am I striving by my efforts or am I receiving love through his?

Everyone loses when agendas move away from the foundation of Jesus. Love is averted. Unity is destroyed. Life-change is missed. People get hurt.

Heaven is missed.

I don’t wan’t to miss that glimpse, not even one slice of heaven – of goodness. I want the whole pie! I want to be so doused in the sweetness of heaven that I have no teeth left and I don’t even care.

If any man’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. If any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire. 1 Cor. 3:14-15

May our eyes soak in the height of the mercy showered on us. May we embrace a vagabond hearts to become traveling temples of God. May we not see any service as meaningless, but ask Christ if he agrees with this mentality when we begin to.

With Jesus, no person is too low, no place off-limits, no heights untouchable, but if it is not done with him, it is done for self.

Jesus, let every ounce of us be poured out for every ounce of your blood – your love.

A job well done. May the person end up loving you more.
An amazing ministry time. No pride, just deep praise for the great God at work.
An awesome business opportunity. May more know Christ.
A financial outpouring of blessings. A means to bring an end to someone’s captivity.
An outstanding compliment. A way to point to the glory that is God.

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 1 Cor. 13:3

If we can’t do it in love, we may as well be doing nothing.
Lord, let our love mean something!

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purposefulfaith

Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

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14 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Kelly, I am holding this teaching deep in my heart today. I will meditate on it throughout this week. I want my words to point someone straight to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. I want to hide behind His beauty, so others can see more of Him. Thanks for this lesson today:)

    • I am so glad you are holding this deep today Kristine. Jesus can do so much more for us than we ever can do for him. I hope and desire that we can just overflow every bit of his goodness far and wide.

  • Kelly this post hit the naik on the head. Thank you for being transparent. When I do things and the focus is self I will truly gain nothing contrary to what the world says. I want to do what Jesus wants me to do, that people won’t see me but Jesus in me. His love, His understanding, His compassion, His gentleness. No more self just Jesus this is my prayer.

    • I am so glad it spoke to you Lisa. Jesus is ready to shine his blinding light on those who need to become blind to the issues that trap them. Lord, help Lisa and I not to block that!

  • Kelly, I needed this today. I’m realizing lately that, when I start acting like it’s all about me, I struggle with comparisons and disappointment. But when I hold my plans and projects loosely and let love for God and others motivate me, I have peace and joy. I will remember this as I go about my day: “Without Jesus, my best words are babble. If it’s not spoken in the dialect of love, it’s spoken in the dialect of stupidity.”

    • Lois, I am so glad that this is speaking to you. It is easy to get caught up with the wrong perspective. I am praying for complete reliance on Christ for both of us right now. He loves us and will take care of us.

  • Boy, did I need to read this today! This is the leader’s ultimate trap: the one that needs to be watched over so carefully. I love the analogy of monitoring the temperature of the heart and the reminder that grace flows down to the humble. Leading others should be able modeling Christ and giving Him the glory as the one who leads me. Make it so, Lord.

  • I can definitely relate to the struggles with self.

    There are times that even though I am saying the words pointing any compliment directed toward me back to God for His Glory, deep down, there is a part of me that is “taking credit”.

    Your words “Anything done in my name will be a signature destined for a shredder upon my final days, but anything done in his name will last forever.” truly struck me and the heart of the matter.

    Thank you for sharing such an edifying post!

    • Yes, that little part of taking credit is where the devil gets in I think. Let’s make it all about him. I pray we can be authentic in all our ways so we can find his joy!

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