You may be wondering what a grocery store has to do with being Battle Ready? But let me tell you I had a straight up WAR in my mind. In my mind. That’s the key. I almost didn’t include the following story in the book because it’s EMBARRASSING. But it’s the truth. Here’s a little excerpt from the introduction of Battle Ready (Amazon, B&N) …
Life’s greatest fight is within the mind. I decided this at the supermarket not too long ago as I watched a lady survey the meat counter. Said lady? She appeared nice enough. The only issue was that she was beautiful and the exact opposite of how I’d been feeling lately. . .
Lately, I’d been trying to oil-slick all of my wild strands into a contained mass of frizzless order. Lately, I’d been trying to cover my gray roots. Lately, I’d been trying to triple-foundation-cover redness on my cheeks that wouldn’t relent. Lately, I’d been trying to yank-button my shorts to hide an ever-bulging waistline. Lately, I’d been scouring online reviews for wrinkle creams that actually work (without success, I might add). So when I saw her, I hated me even more. Her. In all her tight-fit body glory, walking around in those little spandex pants and bra-like workout shirt . . . she silently mocked me. Her body laughed at mine. Her unsaid words critiqued me. Her confidence attacked mine. That show off!!!
So I did what any violently threatened woman would do—I fought back. Right there, while holding the hand of my little toddler and a bag of chips, I envisioned myself approaching her, tapping her on the shoulder, and saying, “Excuse me, dear, I just want to let you know . . . your outfit sure is cute. So cute, in fact, I don’t think anyone would ever notice the bulges of back fat you probably never noticed when you looked in the mirror this morning.”
Bam! I’d hit her. Then I’d offer her a wink and be on my way. I’d march off with the military precision of a girl who just won the war! She’d stand there, mouth agape I’m sure . . . and I’d forget about how all those pretty girls back in third grade once made me feel. All this? My imaginary emotional uplift? This little break from my own faults?
It felt so good in the moment . . . so right. Until the regret came and I realized I had just done the unthinkable, what I’d pledged within my heart not to do: criticize, tear down, and rip apart another person. Why do I always do what I don’t want to do? Not too long after, my son and I checked out at the counter.
The cashier passed us a little red contest ticket. You get it for bringing your own bag. A chance to win $25 at the store by dropping that little red ticket in its own special box. I pointed out the box about twenty feet away and told my son to drop it in as I finished paying. The problem was, once there, my son couldn’t reach it. Jumping didn’t help either. Neither did my encouragement from afar. To make matters worse, she came. Said-lady rolled her pristine self and bagged-up cart right next to him. I believe I pretended not to look, but I certainly heard her voice, sweet like honey, say, “Hi, cutie, can I help you, little darling?” Workout Barbie then looked over and yelled to me, “He’s so cute!” She lifted him just right so he fit his little ticket in the box and affectionately dropped him down. She smiled big and waved goodbye.
I wanted to hate her. I did. But I couldn’t. Turns out, she was a kind lady with back fat rolls about half the size of mine. A thousand pound weight heaped on my back. I am so bad. I am horribly bad. I will never, ever be good.
Can you relate? In my new book Battle Ready (Amazon, B&N) I discuss a hands-on scriptural plan that teaches you twelve easy-to-implement, confidence-building mind-sets designed to transform your thoughts and, therefore, your life. Also if you pre-order the book between now and July 3, you’ll receive FREE bonuses including a 7-day printable journal.
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Kelly, I’m glad you included that chapter!
If it weren’t for moments in the supermarket like this, we might think, for a few moments, anyway, that we don’t need a Savior . . .
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Kelly, haven’t we all been there? Comparison brings out the ugly in us like almost nothing else. Thanks for sharing so honestly from your own life. I’m so thankful we have a Savior who can help us re-direct our thoughts, who can patiently mold us so we reflect Him more clearly in our thoughts, words, and actions.
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Kelly, I SO love this chapter, and I suspect most of us have been there! Having enjoyed the opportunity to read this book a few weeks before the rest of the world, I can honestly say it’s the most challenging book I’ve read this year! These words cut to the deepest part of me and challenge the subtle attitudes that bolster my pride and steal my joy! I cannot wait for the world to get their hands on these words!
Yes! This! I vow to not do things and I’m right back there again! Thank you for being real and honest! Love this chapter from the book!
Amazing story. Amazing book. Kelly, you are AMAZING!!!!
Competitiveness, comparative, jealousy, envy…sadly a very human condition, I’m so glad we have Jesus!
I struggle so often with the green-eyed monster. Thanks for keeping it real. laurensparks.net
I think we all can relate to those exact feelings. So glad we don’t always say what we’re thinking. 🙂
I love how relatable this is. Mine tends to be when someone says how fat or big bellied they are. I like to quip, “I’ll trade you mine for yours (belly).” and we both laugh.
Comparison is the worst with us chicas.
But we’re all good people underneath mostly.
Also, your book design looks is spectacular and from the excerpt, sounds like a good read
Kelly, if I said, “Well, I’ve never…” whatever I added next, I’d be lying through my gritted teeth.
So real. So human. We are simply flawed. And the one who hates us fans it in us and wants it to burst into violent flames ?, burning up everything and everyone around.
But God…has a far better plan. So thankful He calls us to repent and turn to Him.
Thanks for including this story. You make it REAL for each one of us as you paint us into your picture with your words.
Hugs.
Kelly, if I said, “Well, I’ve never…” whatever I added next, I’d be lying through my gritted teeth.
So real. So human. We are simply flawed. And the one who hates us fans it in us and wants it to burst into violent flames ?, burning up everything and everyone around.
But God…has a far better plan. So thankful He calls us to repent and turn to Him.
Thanks for including this story. You make it REAL for each one of us as you paint us into your picture with your words.
Hugs.
Kelly, as i was reading this chapter in your book I was totally there with you. Been there done that, oh too many times to count. Thanks for making us see we can fight those lies and be battle ready! Love your heart to equip! Blessings
Kelly, your posts have encouraged me, made me laugh, made me cry, and mostly made me thankful. Thankful that there is someone like you, who I can relate to, who voices those deep down thoughts in admission of “this is really me”, and who humbly admits to being real, and flawed. And who, despite the real and flawed, is greatly loved by a Savior who already knows my sin, and washed me in His blood anyway, and covers me with grace after grace every day. Thank you for being you, Kelly, and for the faith that you share. Praise God!
We’ve probably all been there. It should make us realize just how much we need Jesus and encourage us to run to the cross and remember it was for this that Christ died. Thanks for being so transparent and relatable.