Purposeful Faith

My Shiny Pet Rock: Sin I Love to Hate


This thing, this terrible thing that I have struggled with for years, is something I cannot seem to shake.

So what is a girl to do?

I did what any good church-going gal would do.  I signed up  for every single bible study, every retreat, and any and every special session.  All the things, I believed would help me finally understand why I don’t do what I like, but instead, do what I hate.

Among my friends and acquaintances, I was known for my devotion to the study.  The study of that which they believed was an adoration for my God, but in reality was a desperate attempt to finally break free.

Bible Study Sister.

Jesus fan-girl.


Good people.

A Proverbs-31 woman.

I did all the things. The things that were suggested, the things I believed were essential to 1.  Freedom.  2.  Worthiness.

Yes, I believed I must earn my salvation, and when I finally achieved this worthiness, maybe then I would be able to overcome this thing.  The thing, the thing that I cannot seem to get over, that I cannot leave behind.

Perfection evades me.  As much as I love order and perfection, I love this … this monster I call my sin.


What would I do with my time, with my mind, if not for the sin I tend to?

So back I went to my studies, with my highlighters, fancy pens and markers. The bible bag I carry with all my tools has a fancy cross embroidered on the front.  It is decorated with pins asking “what would Jesus do?”  But as much as I study, as much as having memorized, I swear.. I do not know.

I did not know what Jesus would do.

And I could not figure out how to be just like Him.

Truth be told, no matter how much I dedicated to the study of my sin, the sin was all I knew.  And then a friend brought this to my attention.

I was a classic case of a Christian with a sin god…. continue reading and link up here!!!  





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Jami Amerine

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