Post by: Christy Mobley
Recently while playing back a Facebook live video I discovered an ugly truth…
I don’t have a chin in my profile view unless I smile.
I stumble when searching for the right words to say.
And I forget to look and mention each person that tuned in—how rude!
As I watch the video again, I think, I should have done better. Silently I resolve never to do another Facebook live video.
The ugly truth? Gasp—It wasn’t perfect. The realization? Ugh, I’m a perfectionist.
Perfectionist: A person who demands perfection of him or herself.
A couple of years ago I would have never called myself out as being a perfectionist because to me, a perfectionist is someone who has to make everything perfect—meaning they accomplish the task. Since I knew I couldn’t make everything just so, I surmised I didn’t fit this description.
But I was wrong.
I do try to make everything perfect but it’s according to my own standards. And I set them pretty high then I beat myself up when I don’t measure up. This often leaves me feeling like I’m good enough.
And that’s sad.
This idea that I shouldn’t ever make a mistake—mess things up, well, it’s paralyzed me and boxed me in for years. It’s kept me from trying new things, from moving forward, from chasing my dreams.
Have you ever felt like this, even partially? If you have and you are like me, you probably don’t know where this need for doing things flawlessly originates.
I believe perfectionism is a scheme of the devil. Another kill, steal and destroy game plan.
It kills our drive. It steals our joy. It destroys our dreams
Satan feeds us lies to keep us stuck. Because when we hold ourselves to this unreachable standard we keep ourselves from taking a next step—from learning.
By God’s divine design we learn by making mistakes—trial and error. If we are scared of goofing up how can be ever move ahead to the great things God has planned for us—our divine destiny—our God-given purpose?
But there is hope. It’s called grace.
And grace looks like Jesus—God’s greatest gift to us.
I am good enough and you are good enough because Jesus was good enough to be the perfect sacrifice for us. Because Jesus took our place on the cross we’ve been made perfect in God’s eyes. No more striving. It’s already been taken care of. By God’s grace it’s been done.
“For by grace you have been saved though faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8 (ESV)
His grace allows us the freedom to be all He intended us to be.
And though I now intellectually know this, I‘ve believed the lies so long its been a slow recovery. But I am recovering. You too?
So let us perfectionist types forge our way forward bravely running head on into mess-ups, blunders, goofs and mistakes, allowing God to refine us through each one. Knowing and believing that as His children, He sees as not only good enough but priceless, blameless and beyond compare. Already perfect.
So give yourself a little grace. God has.
Christy is an award winning writer, national speaker, wife, mother, mother-in-law, and first time grandma! She is passionate about helping women see God working for their good in the midst of their circumstances.
When Christy isn’t with family, speaking or writing, you can find her on the tennis court chasing a fuzzy yellow ball.
You can connect with Christy on her blog, Joying in the Journey, Facebook, and Twitter
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Christy,
I agree wholeheartedly that perfectionism is the scheme of the enemy. He delights when we set ourselves up against a standard we can’t possibly achieve – being perfect – and then laughs when we feel defeated. There’s only one way we can be perfect and that is through the blood of Jesus Christ making us perfect. Everything else is vain attempts. I am a recovering perfectionist joining with you in giving ourselves a little grace!!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Thanks Bev. From one recovering perfectionist to another…yay for grace!
I love the truth that we are enough, not because of anything we do or don’t do, but because of who God is and who He says we are!
Grace can feel illusive, like water through my fingers. When I realize I don’t need to grab hold of it as much as I need to be drenched in it is when I can experience grace in fullness!
So true Becky. God gives it freely but most us struggle to live in it. I love how you said be drenched in it.
Hugs!
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To say I can relate to this would be a grand understatement! I always love it when God shows me I’m not alone in my struggle with perfectionism. Thank you Christy, for sharing here today. The enemy is defeated by the blood of Jesus and the power of our testimony. (Revelation 12:11) I believe he is being defeated here today and I know your words will encourage other women to move forward in letting go of perfectionism, myself included!
I’m so glad Leslie. It is a struggle isn’t it? It’s a conundrum of sorts that we can struggle to have what is given freely.
Bless~
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I am so grateful that God takes our imperfect selves and uses them in His perfect way. Only by His grace! It’s all His grace! Beautiful and encouraging post.
Thank you Joanne. You’re right, it’s only by His grace!
Bless~
Christey,
Thanks for the reminder to give ourselves a little grace! Not so easy in this Pinterest world 🙂
Praying you have a blessed day with a sense of God’s grace all around you.
~Sherry Stahl
xoxo
Sherry, you make me laugh. I try not to look at Pinterest for that reason. ?
We can never hear this truth enough! So thankful for the grace that God extends to me, and for the faith that enables me to receive it myself and extend it to others.
I find it easier to extend grace to others than myself but I’m working on that part.
Christy, such good words here. Most of my learning has come from through making mistakes and messing up. Thank goodness God gives us grace when we mess up in our living. That’s how we become conformed to the image of Jesus, isn’t it?
Thanks for sharing your struggle with us! I’ve dealt with the same struggle. 🙂
You’ve got that right Jeanne! We are all a work in progress.
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Yes, we all need to give ourselves a little grace. I too struggle with perfection. Since I never attained perfection, I always called it striving for excellence. However, I blurred the lines. I did a series on it not too long ago and boy even in that it was a struggle to keep perfectionism out of the picture. Thank you for your wise words to all of us recovering perfectionist.
Maree, that’s why perfectionism is one of the devil’s schemes. He is a tricky booger. He blurs the lines. Thank God for the Holy Spirit who brings clarity!
I’m glad Jesus is perfect, that’s the only way I get close.
Amen to that Rebecca!
Awesome post, Christy. I’m a recovering perfectionist. 🙂 And I love to talk about God’s grace. I particularly loved this about perfectionist, “It kills our drive. It steals our joy. It destroys our dreams.” So true! Blessings and hugs!
Wow, there are a lot of us out there Karen. I’m thankful for a community of believers, you being a part, who ooze the grace of God.
Hugs!
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Learning by “trial and error” is great point! It seems we perfectionists are closely related to people-pleasers. After all, What Will People Think, if it’s not perfect? But the truth is, unless someone is a highly critical person, most people don’t even notice the things we pick ourselves apart about. So I agree, the enemy doesn’t have to look far for ammunition when trying to paralyze a perfectionist.
I agree that perfectionism is a true joy killer which can lead to other vices like procrastination and self-hatred. Thank you for sharing how to deal with it.
Thanks for finally talking about >Give Yourself a Little Grace –
Purpkseful Faith <Loved it!