I had a really hard talk with a friend. I told her some things that needed to be said. Her face looked sad.
I didn’t want to say all these things, but I felt God wanted me to. The words were supposed to be encouraging. I tried to do this the best I could, but sensed I was failing. She listened. She nodded and soaked it all in.
We understood each other. It was all good.
But after she left, I felt crushed.
Does she still love me? What if she leaves me?
Does the idea of confrontation ever make you want to cover up because you fear you’ll be left unwanted?
I’ve noticed that in the past I left people before they left me, in order not to get hurt.
God help me. I don’t want to do that again.
Frankly, I often don’t realize what my flesh is doing until my Spirit realizes it’s too late. But is it? Is it ever too late to return to love? It can sure feel like it. It can feel like it when memories of relationships are severed. Or the way you approached something can’t be taken back. It can feel you’ve gone down a one-way road leading to continually hurt feelings inside you.
I always mess up.
Are you there today? Do you feel you’ve ruined a relationship in a way that can’t be fixed?
5 Truths when Relationships Appear Broken
1. We are not perfect, nor will we ever be. On earth, we are moving from one glory to another. This means we start at a lesser glory, learn through a trial about God’s glory, and grow up into His greater glory. Life = Learning. We are learners.
2. God’s love is steady and sure. We may do what God wants, but man may still leave us. This doesn’t mean we didn’t: Do what God wanted us to, love well, and handle things correctly. It means that life gets sticky and sometimes people need time to process.
3. Our God is a God of new beginnings. Just as Jesus found new life after He gave up his own life at the cross, sometimes we must give up our pride to find new life in a relationship. This looks like humbling ourselves, saying sorry, and moving into the new thing God has for us.
4. We all want to be loved. While we look at our stack of mess-ups, reasons we’re right or issues surrounding the relationship, others are doing the same thing. They want healing too. They want restored connectedness also. Understanding others’ perspectives always comes before judging them. This posture lets us kneel instead of cowering before others. Whose heart doesn’t open up when you see someone kneeling before you?
5. We get grace. Lots of it. It is abundant. Magnificent. Restorative. Full of opportunities to start over. Take it, in full-measure. God loves us. We are covered by the blood of Jesus. This means that by turning back to God and letting him take what we’ve done wrong, we get a covering, a protection and a start-over that our soul longs for. Things may not be perfect with others, but we look perfectly blameless in the sight of our God.