Category - Contentment

Finding true contentment

Does God See Me?

June 28, 2017

Air conditioning. It is such a beautiful thing, such a wonderful reprieve from sweltering heat. I was glad to be in it and away from the heat that had been dripping down my skin. Plus, we were finally in the car, me and my two toddlers. In my victory place. . . I call it this, because it means I’ve dressed them well, ensuring their underwear are on their bodies and not their heads. It also means I’ve successfully harnessed them in the seats with octopus tentacles, I mean, straps. . .

All this to say, now we could successfully move from point A, home, to point B, camp. I clocked in my speed exactly 5 acceptable miles over the speed limit and fell into my thoughts. How does one find God when life gets moving so fast?

In the morning, before life started going and hustling, I was all rock-solid-in-Christ. In the quiet I was full, sure, readied and bible-loaded. But, then, somewhere into the first 10-minutes of morningtime momma-ing, I was depleted.

I drove on, letting my mind wrap its arms around this ongoing struggle. I’m all alone. I have to do everything myself. Where’s the love for the woman who works so hard? Where’s the replenishment in these places of “worn out”?

My eyes surveyed the flat, long road ahead, all the way down the next 5 stop lights. If I drive a little faster I can make that light. If I switch lanes I can get ahead to do it. If I get the kids unbuckling by the time I hit the parking lot of the school, I can more quickly transition them at the door.

My eyes stared off into the sweltering horizon down the grey asphalt road, but what they never did, at least not for a long time, was – look up. This, I later realized, this was my problem. It often is: I see what is in front of me, missing the God above me. I manage, control, fix, suppose and compound issues. God just waits to be found.

Yet, by shifting my mind to see what’s above I can actually see. In this case, I could see light pink, hot pink, off white and splashes of every color. . . painted accross the sky. God is awesome!

His light reached towards my car.

God does see me.
He is always here.
He knows my situation.
He sees my way.

Encouraged, I searched out more. I noticed the birds. They weren’t all flying around; they were relaxed, sitting and surveying the glory from a phone line. Turned towards the sun. At peace.

Rest is here.
God is rest.
I can choose to rest in him.

His love waits for me.

This situation stood as the perfect reminder: if instead of dwelling on what is in front of me, I dwell on what is above, I will find God as I seek him.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jer. 29:13)

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (Mt. 17:7)

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A Power Boost in Christ Jesus

June 27, 2017

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, dreams, expectations, faith

13 Comments

We can be like tires, after a lot of mileage, we run down. We loose our traction to God’s Word. We slip and slide into worldliness. We can feel it happening, we sense the tug, we know we are a little out of control, the problem is, sometimes, we are not so sure what to do about it.

I feel it in my life. I’ve had a series of frustrating situations: the babysitter backed our car into the mailbox, my feelings got hurt by a friend, and my prayer life with God landed in the doldrums.

Fortunately, I’m beginning to get eyes to see, if I don’t change something at the first sign of a slide, I’ll land in a ditch of faith. I don’t want this. Neither do you, I bet.

And, what about you? Are you, like me, slipping and sliding today?

– Letting arguments or distance with another dictate your worth.
– Finding yourself alone, tired and doubtful in your house.
– Resting on your own abilities to accomplish things, and not God’s.
– Endlessly worrying about your “situation” and having a hard time giving it to God.
– Recounting all that went wrong and not knowing how to get your mind off it.
– Returning to the sense that you are not really cared for by God.
– Battling your own will to avoid the temptation before you.
– Forgetting your quiet time or prayer time with God.

No matter where you stand, even if you feel completely on fire for the Lord, our goal is to boost your traction. So you cling on to the King of Kings, grip his paths, and stay on them.

The first step along this path is to:

Offer Forgiveness: Even if you need to forgive the same person 50 times. God endorses this behavior. He tells us to forgive 77 times – times 7 (Mt. 18:22).
Ask God: Will you help me to receive your Words and believe your words in a way where they relieve my heart?
Proclaim Godliness: Speak the truth (out loud). Speak it over yourself. Now, don’t fear, while you might feel dumb, you don’t look dumb to God, you look quite wise, actually, for getting your little self back on his path.
Speak this:I am beloved; I am God’s child and nothing can ever change that.

I am chosen; Father God never turns his back on those he wants.

I am helped; in everything I do, God will help me.

I am equipped; the Lord gives me what I need to accomplish his will.

I am restored; Jesus didn’t come to earth to leave mankind broken and he won’t leave me this way either.

I am forgiven; what was done on the cross is as permanent as marker –
there is no erasing its power.

I am renewed; I am being transformed into the image of Christ Jesus.

I am not perfect; I am growing and moving from glory to glory.

I am strong. In Christ Jesus, I have all I need to walk into this life;
his grace is more than enough.

I am able. There is nothing that God can’t help me do;
there is no mountain I can’t move, through prayer.

I am destined. I am destined to the fullness of heaven and
no scheme of the enemy can take that from me.

I am alive. This is my one life to go all out for God – and I will.

I am talented. God has given me works to do in advance,
not so I can doubt them, but so I can unleash them.

I am in love. Father, Son and Holy Spirit are my affection. Through them, I spread love.

I am called. I will go as God calls me to go.

I will lay it all down to follow my King, Master and Prince of Peace.

I am daughter; I am cared for in the kindest ways.

I am covered; God’s faithfulness will bring me through.

I am safe; God’s protection never breaks.

I am whole in Christ Jesus and if he is for me – no one can be against.

Believing and speaking these words restores tread and traction in our heart. We reattach to the vine and abide in his love, so much so, our mind realizes, we are not operating in this world but in HIS world. Getting to this place, to the place of spiritual eyes, is what brings us back to a heart that is on fire for God. It is what makes us go out in the world and pass the torch to another person. Rest here.

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My Gigantic Mistake

June 26, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, doubt, failure, faith, fear

4 Comments

I only wish I could take it back. Why doesn’t life come with a rewind button? Why can’t we re-do those horrible, wretched moments where we just get ahead of our self?

I got lured in. No, I didn’t.
I got pressured. Well, no, actually, I didn’t.
It was an impossible situation. No, to see things plainly, it really wasn’t.
Anyone could have done it. This point really doesn’t justify my action.

Now that my excuses are out of the way, I can name my action for what it is: a gigantic mistake. I can own it: I sinned.

Here’s what happened . . .

I met up with a girlfriend, Jen. Oh, how I love her. Wisdom is all over her. She is someone I can tell anything. Laughing, we enjoyed our time together. We connected, relayed stories and then, at one point, Jen relayed one of her secrets: she didn’t enjoy going to one of our common friend’s, Christy’s, marketing parties.

To me, this was no big deal, but to Jen, as she shared this information, it seemed huge. She quieted her voice, she leaned close, and she told me to keep it between me and her. She had that face on her that said, I just told you something I am SO embarrassed to admit.

Of course, I promised to keep quiet. But, I didn’t. The secret about Jen slipped out while I was talking with Maria, our common friend. And, the “whoopsie moment” was magnified when I realized, Carrie, Jen’s closest friend, was right behind me. Like, RIGHT behind me. She totally could hear.

All I could do was – Panic! I’d messed the whole thing up, horribly. I’d gone – and got myself – caught.

Suddenly, rather than enjoying my place amongst friends, my mistake spun me out into some parallel universe of worry, fear and angst. I’m going to be busted. My friends will never tell me anything ever again. I am horrible. I am now going to be known as a liar.

The sin bothered me, but what was really killing me was the fact: I got caught. It is funny how sin works that way, isn’t it? If we can hide it safely, we figure – no harm, no foul, but if it gets brought to the light we are crushed, tied up and self-tortured for our horrible behavior.

I tortured myself and disallowed my heart from experiencing joy that night.
I tortured myself by rewinding, over and over again, my big mouth blabbing in slow motion.
I tortured myself by trying to pull away from those friends out of embarrassment.
I tortured myself by believing God hated me for a moment.
I tortured myself by thinking my prayers were like paper airplanes missing the target of God.
I tortured myself by not accepting forgiveness.

I didn’t have to do this. I didn’t have to partake in self-torture. You don’t either. Even if you’ve blabbed like me, or thought no good rotten thoughts about your husband or stolen some item from the grocery story. Whatever it is, trying to pierce and plague your heart – you can let it go.

“For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.” Romans 6:14 (NIV)

My friend, you and I both, are under grace. Together we stand, united we will not fall, because Jesus loves us and she who the son sets free, is free indeed (Jo. 8:36). Done. Finalized. Finished.

I am forgiven and you are too. Grace that hung on the cross absolved us from the pain of self sin-torture. Today, let’s receive it and move on.

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Healing an Offense by a Friend

June 23, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, blessings, Contentment, doubt

2 Comments

She infuriated me. The one I called friend was acting much like foe. She was acting selfish, wrong and mean.

How could you? I thought you cared about me. How did I ever get tricked?

Somehow, I had convinced myself that we were in this thing called life together; yet, her actions silently hand-motioned otherwise. She knew what she was doing. And, she did it anyway.

All I could think, at this point was, I need to boot her out of my life, she can’t be trusted, she is not who I thought she was.

I needed to protect myself. You can’t be friends with women walking with scalpels, can you?

But, God…

Oh, I say that often, because He catches me in my tracks.

But God…he says, love your frenemies: “But love your (fr)enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” (Luke 6:35)

What frenemy do you need to love?

God inspires me to think a new way towards the offender. I pray I can see the new thought process through.

Take a look:

New thought: That injurer is likely just as injured as I.
My prayer: God, give me strength to love ____ & their weakness. Amen.

New thought: They have their reasons too; I can’t judge their heart.
My prayer: God help me to see their side in the process of all this…

New thought: I need no expectations of man because Jesus met all my expectations on the cross.
My prayer: God, may I truly believe you are – enough.

And, while I might not be ready to talk to her; I am ready to grab God’s hand and start processing it all. Sometimes, just taking this small step towards forgiveness is half the battle.

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On Numbing Out

June 22, 2017

Karina Allen

approval, awe, Contentment

2 Comments

Post by: Karina Allen

A few weeks ago my Pastor began talking about all things summer. Summer is great and all, but as a single with no kids, my summer pretty much just looks like the rest of the year. My church schedule does lighten a bit. But long gone are my college days where I had summers off. For so many of my friends, however, a summer schedule is a real thing. Summer can be amazing! It can hold endless down time, late start mornings, night owl bedtimes, unhurried rhythms, traveling adventures and untapped brain power.

On the other hand, summer can bring a whole new set of unintended circumstances. I have learned that so much idle and unpurposed time can be just the open door the enemy desires. My Pastor has been determined for our church to not fall into a summer slump or to fall victim to the schemes of the enemy or simply going through the motions. I love that his heart is for us to experience as much of God or more of God than we would during the rest of the year.

Summer doesn’t discriminate, nor does it hold back on the issues of life. Relationship drama, financial distress, all manner of loss, hurt feelings, etc… can all be experienced during these hotter than necessary months. It is just as important to stay plugged in to both the Lord and to community.

Do not forsake the ‘Secret Place’.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

The upside of summer, if your schedule does become laid back, is just that, it’s laid back. There is no need to be somewhere all the time at a certain time. That sounds like the perfect opportunity to dive deep into time with God, even if you have littles running around. My amazing friend Lindsey has literally been living this out with her 4 kids. She is a single, stay at home mom. She has been walking through really hard marital challenges, but she decided to let that bring her closer to God instead of push her away. Then, she made the best decision. She decided to bring her kids along on the journey. They read devotions together along with books about missionaries. They pray and worship. It is beautiful to watch her kids fall in love with the Savior simply because she has chosen to put God first and cultivate an atmosphere of intimacy with the Lord. She doesn’t know where this extra time comes from. All she knows is that He multiplies it as she continues to be obedient in keeping Him the center of her family.

Do not forsake a persevering spirit.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

Seeing as how, trials and hardships don’t take a break during the summer, it’s key for us to keep up the fight. The enemy is after our minds and emotions and callings and lives. When we become complacent or too familiar with God and the things of God, he takes full advantage of those moments.

It is extremely tempting to become inactive and forsake our time with God or serving or being committed to the Church. I want this summer to be the opposite. I want to have some of the most intimate times with God. I want to have some of the best times in corporate gatherings. I want to have some of the wildest adventures with community. I want to have some of the sweetest times meeting the needs of those around me.

Summer is not the time to give in to an anything goes mentality. It is not the time to numb out. Now is the time to press in and watch a mighty move of God take place.

How are you or can you keep from numbing out and pursue a deeper relationship with the Lord this summer?

About Karina Allen

Karina is a devoted follower of Jesus from New Orleans, Louisiana, but has made her home in Baton Rouge for the past 15 years. She spends much of her time leading worship at church, writing, reading, dancing and mentoring the next generation. She has a huge heart for serving and missions. She is an advocate for the local church especially the one that she attends, Healing Place Church. She also enjoys working out, traveling, photography and going to concerts/conferences.

Karina believes that every woman has a God-sized dream on the inside of them and it is up to an encouraging community to help nurture that dream. Her goal in writing is to see women get a revelation of God’s Word and discover how to apply it to their lives in order to walk in freedom and live the life that God intended. But the most important thing to her is to live out the call of Isaiah 26:8…For His Name and His Renown are the desire of our souls! You can connect with her at “For His Name and His Renown.”

Untangling Sin that Traps You

June 21, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment

4 Comments

I’m a wimp. I’ll just say it. Give me a happy ending for Bambi, or give me another version of a baby deer and bunny thumping and safe mamas. My kids all preach the same: “That’s not real life, moooom.” Why? Why do my kids have to be so adultish sometimes? There are those incidences though—in our lives, in our marriage, in our faith—that we have to fight! And not just fight. We have to battle and go to the mat. (Not that I’ve ever gone to an actual mat, but doesn’t it sound brave.)

I’ve discussed this particular issue with my accountability partner. The sin I battled ten years ago, and thought was down for the count, comes back to life and trips me up with a new kind of strength. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

Sin only grows to weigh us down. We must get rid of it and run with clenched fists and open hearts, because we’re not alone. God’s got this. And there is a happy ending!

When I was a kid (boy that makes me sound old), but when I was young…er, I was trapped by two boys who held me captive on a tire swing. This sounds less than terrifying, I know. But after being teased, taunted, and slammed against the trunk of a tree for a child’s account of forever—I knew I had to either wait it out, or jump. I jumped. Once my body hit the dust and I felt the dirt sticking to my tears like glue, I rallied with a guttural, “Huh-uh!” All I can say is, “Boys do to run like girls. Ya-huh.”

It’s difficult to remember, when we swing in a hole of aloneness, that Jesus is the warrior beside us. And we will not be tormented by the enemy. We are not held captive—but free to sprint and drop weightless to the ground. We can untangle sin and chase the enemy. Why? Because we are God’s child. Also, we are really good at battling…almost too good…like superpower good. And here’s why:

Because Christ fought sin and we won. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6: 23

Because we can fight in faith and rest in grace. We can approach the battle with confidence. In your majesty ride forth victoriously in the cause of truth, humility and justice; let your right hand achieve awesome deeds. Let your sharp arrow pierce the hearts of the king’s enemies; let the nation fall beneath your feet. Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever; a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom. Psalm 45:4-6 Beautiful. Majestic. Bold. We are sufficient to stand in the shadow of His prize fight. And win!

Because Jesus fights for us. You are from God and have overcome them, for he is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4. And intercedes for us. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and intercedes for us. Romans 8:34

Because we have the superpower we need. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you…Acts 1:8

And because the enemy runs like a girl. “Yah-huh!” And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night forever and ever. Revelation 20:10…

And also, because God is simply the one writing our story,

there’s this:

Thee Happy Ending

About Beth Deuwel:
Beth Duewel is a wife and a mama of three almost grown-ups. Yes. She is still rooting for Bambi. Check out her book due to launch July 2017, Fix-Her-Upper: Hope and Laughter Through a God Renovated Life. Co-authored by Rhonda Rhea! Her blog, Fix-Her-Upper Life Renovated, is a must see and has lots and lots of happy endings too! She hopes to see you there.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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What is your Secret?

June 20, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment, doubt, faith, fear

21 Comments

What is your secret?

Normally, I wouldn’t venture into the hidden cabinets of your life like this. Yet, today, I feel compelled to do so. Why? I learned the average person has 13 secrets*. This deeply concerns me, because what we keep inside can’t see the light of God’s healing. Instead, it grows, like mold – in guilt, shame, regret, remorse, and isolation.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know a thing or two about keeping a secret. I’ve had:

An eating disorder that I tried to (unsuccessfully) hide for a long time.
Financial turmoil in my single years that caught me in a huge struggle.
A bad habit I didn’t want anyone to know about.

But, this is the concerning thing about secrets – it makes Christians feel like:

A. Frauds
B. Liars
C. Disowned by God

This is concerning when to share Christ’s love, we need to first be filled with it (1 Jo. 4:19).

Secrets are like glass windows. No one can really see them, but we know they are there. They keep a wall between us – and God. The amazing thing is – he sees right through them. He sees to our heart. But, our resurrected protective glass keeps His love away. We prevent intimacy. This is the problem with secrets.

Secrets make us hear and believe: we’re the bad child, the guilty one, the unloved one, the unforgiven one, the broken one, the burdened one.

Then, we manage our own public relations campaign. We control. We lie. We manipulate. We feel horrible about it all – and the cycle continues….

What are your secrets?

They could be:

– financial blunders hidden under the guise of “No, honey, our bank account looks great!”
– a hidden sexual past that you try to pretend never happened.
– a lie that you cannot bring yourself to confess.
– a hidden relationship or deep longing for someone of old.
– stealing, hatred or simple unhappiness at work.
– self-harm, injuring someone in the past or a traumatic event.
– too much wine, prescription drug or bad habit
– ambition or maneuvers to get yourself ahead
– family secrets, past or covering for others
– a belief you want no one to know
– theft or manipulation that is ever so subtle
– an annoyance with a spouse that has been building up for years
– internal hatred towards a child

I am not here to mark you bad and send you to bed. I don’t ask you these things to chide you in Christ Jesus. I don’t even tell you to – get it over with – and release your worst foibles on Facebook. On the contrary, I just bring these things to you from a point of invitation, not condemnation.

You’re Invited: To a Party of Great Release
Where: With God, at your home, in your car, anywhere
How: Through a complete unveiling of your heart, will, and intentions
When: Anytime
What: What is the desire beneath this secret? Ask God for that desire or for a reworking of it.
Who: Your Father will heal you

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper,
but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Prov. 28:13

Healer is ready to heal. Why not take down the glass wall? Let him in? There is no shame in accepting help. There is no burden to coming to God. There are new beginnings. There are new avenues that will open to you. There is forgiveness from others, and wisdom in the waiting. There is hope from God; there is always hope.

*Study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, co-authored by Michael Slepian

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Questions We Have For God…

June 19, 2017

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, doubt, fear

1 Comment

This past week, I sat there. There were no texts, no calls and my husband was working late. Everything was dull. Facebook, a vast echo chamber of voices sounding off with complaints, thoughts and little questions posed on colored backgrounds. Empty. TV, a wasteful pursuit of the same old stuff – guns, reality gossip and divisive politics.

I breathed in. I looked up. God, are you here in all this? Sometimes, days just seem – fruitless. Dumb. Wasteful.

And, with this, more questions started flying.

I wonder, are you in this place too, of questioning? Perhaps you are… Let me assure you, there is nothing wrong in the asking, in the pursuing. So that is what we will do here today. We will ask our hard stuff and then we will hear, what I believe is God’s heart back to us….

Where are you, God?

I love you. I’ve always had you, this, a plan. Wait on me and you’ll hear me. Listen for me and you’ll find me. I have not given you a spirit of fear and timidity but of power love and a sound mind. Great is my faithfulness and my ability to change, help and restore. I have a plan. You will find me when you seek me with all your heart. Get ready. This is only the beginning and where we are going no man, evil and the world cannot stand against. Yes, you may encounter hard times along the way, but I am in them and with you. Be not afraid. You will find my joy in unexplainable ways. You will find my peace surrounding you. I am the fullness of all you need. Rest in me. Walk with me and find me. There are days when you won’t know, that is okay. I know and that is all you need to know. Come follow me. I am the way, your way, the truth, your truth and the life, your life.

God, how to I proceed? I need direction.

Wait on me. Listen. Stop and hear. Ask and discover. Seek and I’ll open the door to you. Watch and I’ll appear. Immerse yourself in my mind and I’ll immerse myself in you. Pay attention to the little things. Open the door of you heart wider. Unfasten the fear and the shame that is keeping you from the fullness of my glory. My wanting you to let go of this is never about shaming or guilting you. Do you want to pass it over to me today? Do you want to hand over what you see as condemnation, so I can begin a grand reformation? Why not take off the burden and pass it along. I am teaching you and leading you, but you need to be able to hear me and my Word.

God, why aren’t I doing more for you?

A baby doesn’t run until the training days are done. Often, you think you are ready to sprint before you’re developed. I am growing in you the spiritual muscles to do the things I’ve prepared for you. Daughter, I AM at work. If you will just be faithful in the small things, in the meaningless days, in obedient ways, you’ll find I am taking those underdeveloped places and making them strong, so then we can go and do bigger things. Just think, if you are a baby, or a child and I allow you to pole jump too early, you’ll land on your face. I want you to fly, at my appointed time, in my appointed way. I want you to be ready in full with all my equipping. Here is what you need to know: be faithful in the little and big doors will be opened unto you.

As I asked these questions of God, his peace fell on me. Are there some questions you need to ask of God? He doesn’t hate you for asking; He delights in your pursuit of Him, of truth and of life. Press in. Seek. And, find.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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Please, Take Care NOT to do This!

June 16, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment, control, doubt, fear

1 Comment

The waitress was nowhere to be seen, my glass was empty, my food was late and my patience was running thin. Where is she?

I bet she is on a smoke-break. She’s probably sitting outside the kitchen, leaning up against a brick wall, scrolling Facebook. Of course, something probably caught her eye – maybe an old friend? A boyfriend? And then, she started to see who he is friends with and what he’s doing. Then she gets intrigued with the latest place he took a vacation and she starts to look up the hotel…and then…

She better get out here, I’m starving, plus the kids are about 10-seconds away from losing it and I am entirely losing my patience.

A woman walks towards me, clearly the manager, I look at her and say, “Excuse me, our waitress vanished and I have no idea where she went and we are starving, need water and are waiting to order. Did she forget about us.”

The manager replies, “This is why I was coming over, you see, she got really ill in the bathroom and is being rushed to the hospital.”

Oh.

I guess this means she wasn’t smoking.

I guess this means she wasn’t scrolling.

I guess this means she wasn’t sucked up in some Carribean vacation.

And, as soon as I realize what I’ve done, I realize: The second I become judge is the second I pretend to be God.

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how obvious my assumption appears. It doesn’t matter how blatant their disregard looks. It doesn’t matter how meanly they talk to me. It doesn’t matter what their track record is. It doesn’t matter if they look a certain way. It doesn’t matter if they started one way. It doesn’t matter if I feel hurt.

Unless I am them, I can’t judge them adequately. And, unless God gives me a day in their body, I can’t know their heart, their intentions or their struggle.

I have to let go. Not only for them, but for me. Because, otherwise, I’ll be walking around a hot shop of contempt. All that will fly is sparks of rage and malice at the proposed things people are doing and I’ll never live one happy day when I’m in their presence. It’s no way to live. It’s no way to look like Jesus.

This means:

I come to terms with not knowing your story or why you displayed rudeness.
I put on pause my impulsive emotions.
I decide to think positive about you.
I remember all that could be going wrong in your life.
I consider how the past has burnt you.
I resolve to let you know I’m here for you.
I turn away from the longing to harbor bad feelings towards you.
I give you the freedom to apologize when it’s right for you – or to never apologize at all.
I wait on God.
I trust he will fight for me while I am silent.
I believe he cares.

I know, we all hit hard days and hard days that make us respond with hard edges. I remember the days when I responded not so nice, or out of fear, or in a need to preserve myself…and I treat the offender like I would have wanted to be treated, maybe better.

I don’t do this now. But I want to. And, in this, I know God will help me see it through, so I can be kind to you when you’re confronting the very worst.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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Because Sometimes It’s Not All About Us

June 14, 2017

Christy Mobley

awe, Contentment, control, doubt

6 Comments

Post by: Christy Mobley

I wasn’t sure what happened. One day we were the best of friends and the next… I don’t know, there was this immeasurable distance between us.

For two years my friend and I were inseparable. Our kids played together, we vacationed together with our husbands and now, I couldn’t explain it but something was terribly wrong.

The person I spent hours on the phone with sharing heartbreak and joy, now wouldn’t give me a minute of her time.

After days of chill between us I worked up the nerve to ask her.

“Is something wrong? Is it me?”

As if she had no earthly idea what I was talking about she coyly answered,

“No, I’m good.”

But something wasn’t good. Something was terribly wrong. I felt like I was left alone in the middle of a dance floor. Abandoned.

And then I felt suckered punched. Betrayed.

She knew all my secrets—where my bones were buried.

As the days went on I prayed to God for answers while I tried on my own to figure out what happened. Every morning I woke up with a big fat knot in the pit of my gut while in my head I scoured each word of every conversation we recently had for a clue.

Was it the joke about the gas station, not knowing which grade of gas to choose? I was only teasing her. We joked liked that all the time.

Was she put off because I gave her advice in the gym? But she asked.

There’s nothing quite as devastating as losing a close friend and not knowing what took her from you.

Every day I grew more desperate for answers. I prayed. I waited. I cried. I prayed. I waited. I bawled. I prayed I waited. I wailed! Why wasn’t God answering my prayer? What could be the harm in answering this prayer?

I never stopped to consider it wasn’t all about me.

Eventually the tears dried up and life moved on. Moved on without answers.

And we moved on—my family, away to another city.

In my heart of hearts I knew God knew what happened between my friend and me and that in and of itself gave me peace.

My ex-bestie and I exchanged Christmas cards for a few years and talked few times. But months turned into years and I came to the realization there are some things perhaps God just doesn’t want us to know. Secrets that are to remain hidden.

Several moves and eighteen years later, my husband, David and I attended a wedding for the daughter of another dear friend. At there at the reception across the room between the coconut shrimp and the carving station stood my ex-bestie. It had been years since we’d seen each other.

I walked over and we exchanged hugs and for the next few minutes did what old friends do when they haven’t talked in years. We caught up making small talk about our kids, husbands and nothing. Around the time I thought, that’s that, the conversation took and unanticipated turn.

“Christy” she said, “I need to apologize to you.”

I was truly taken aback. What is this about, I thought?

She went on.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ruining our friendship—one of the best friendships I’ve ever had. I’m sorry for pulling away. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time. It wasn’t about you. It was me.”

She went on to explain what had been going on in her heart and why she grew distant. The “what” I didn’t know.

I stood in relief of my 18 year old question and more so marveled at God’s handi-work of the process.

In this hurry-up and fix-it world, we want what we want when we want it. All those many years ago I was hurting and wanted answers.

But God is not as much concerned about time as He is about the timing.
We want a quick fix. He wants to fix hearts.

He wants to heal us.

He wants to change us.

Grow our character to be more in-line with His. And that takes a providential process.

Maybe you’re dealing with an unanswered prayer right now. It could be a broken relationship or maybe it’s something else entirely. I assure you the moment you prayed a plan was laid. Just because you don’t get your answer right away, doesn’t mean it isn’t coming.

Because sometimes it’s not all about us.

“He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times and dates the Father has set by his own authority.'” Acts 1:7

Christy is an award winning writer, national speaker, wife, mother, mother-in-law, and first time grandma! She is passionate about helping women see God working for their good in the midst of their circumstances.

When Christy isn’t with family, speaking or writing, you can find her on the tennis court chasing a fuzzy yellow ball. You can connect with Christy on her blog, Joying in the Journey, Facebook, and Twitter