Purposeful Faith

Category - Contentment

Finding true contentment

When Excuses Rule

When Excuses Rule

Being a good mom is hard work.
It means being patient, kind and loving.
It means not pulling my hair out when I can’t get one second alone.
It means not having a second to do one little task without being tackled.
It means answering the same question, in the same way, for the 100th time.

Motherhood takes will power to be good.

Many times, I just don’t have it. But, I pretend I do. So, I load myself up with a lot of excuses to make my insides not feel like my outsides.

I try to tell myself – any mom, would get annoyed!

“Moms look at their cell phones all the time.”
“It’s natural to want to hide when things get tough.”
“If they would act right, I would too.”
“At least I am better than the worst time.”
“I did that because they have to learn how to act right.”

Excuses are funny.

Aren’t excuses really just little sweet lies covered with a smile?
They’re chocolate on the outside, yet have arsenic on the inside.

Crutches that keep us in sin?
We walk with them, but we stumble over ourself again and again never really getting anywhere.

Hinderances to our recovery?
We try to look fully recovered, but we don’t let God heal.

I am tired of barriers. Barriers just block us out for God’s great promised land of joy waiting for us. Every time. They. Block. Us. Out.

With this, on this very good day, this very good day that cost one so much. I plead with God to help me take down all the boundaries that keep me from him.

I am humbled at the thought of him.

One who walked the road to Calvary with no excuses.
One who could have said, “Why should I die for those sinners, I am so much better than that.”
Or “I’m not doing a thing for them, for who have mocked me, tormented me and beat me.”

But, he didn’t utter excuses at the cross.

Instead he carried our load, he carried our cross, he endured the shame and the pain and didn’t run the other way. He took it all so that we could take our place next to him in heaven. 

He is entirely good. No pretenses. No facades. No excuses. Simply good.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

I praise God that he is good. Because in him, I am good too. I am released from all excuses and free to accept his free grace. My inadequacies are covered.

No excuse is every required, because whatever it is I am trying to excuse is already covered. In this, I am free to bring everything to him without shame, without regret and with a humble heart. In his hands, he will change my ways and help me to be more than myself.

The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made. (Ps. 145:9)

Free grace is continually poured out due to his goodness. Abundant love is always being extended due to his sacrifice. My life will never be the same; he marked all days as “good enough”. My days are forever changed.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever. (Ps. 136:1)

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Today I join #LiveFreeThursday and Five Minute Friday.

Wanting to be More

Wanting to Be More

Have you ever tried to be better than yourself – for God?
Have you ever tried to win him over by your acts of goodness?

I have.

I hate to say it, but I have totally tried to be the good girl, the impressive one. You know, the one who everyone says, “Wow, that girl has it all together.”

Even today, I tried my absolute hardest with my husband. He had told me what he needed and I was going to SO impress him. I was going to show him who’s boss! Who was “on it”!

Except for one thing, I’m not boss – God is.  Sometimes, I need some reminders.

So, even though I stood ready to show off, in the end, all I ended up showing off was a wounded ego.

I fell down. I messed up again.

So often, the fact of the matter is that my best efforts are simply – bad. My best efforts lead me to confront my worst fears as devastation overwhelms me. It’s almost like I was expecting a blockbuster show, but ended up with a meaningless charade. My heart feels empty and my best efforts worthless.

“…and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags…” (Is. 64:6)

The prideful do fall. (Prov. 16:8)

Was God teaching the arrogant one who is boss?
Does God look down on me and chide me for who I am?

Does he look and say, “There she goes again, that Kelly, she can’t ever just trust me.”?
“She can’t ever do anything right. Sure, I love her, but really, get it together girl!”

When I immerse Word of God, I see he doesn’t condemn me – and he doesn’t condemn you either.

He sees more than a problem child.
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (Eph. 1:5)

He sees more than a weak failure of a person.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made… (Ps. 139:14)

He sees higher than our continual mess-ups.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. (Is. 55:8)

He sees farther than our painful past – straight into a fresh future.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! (Isaiah 43:19)

He offers us abundant power that far transcends our largest limitations.
He offers help and humility that conquers our greatest barriers.
He offers hope that leaves us the opposite of hopeless.

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. (Luke 10:19)

We have extraordinary power – in Christ. He has poured his authority all over us. His power transcends mistakes, the past and circumstances. All through God, all the time, all the days, all weaknesses fade away and all love pours down on us from high.

Will we choose to see it? To embrace it? To live in his power? Or, will we live wishing God had given us something more?

Wanting to be More

Wanting to Be More

Have you ever tried to be better than yourself – for God?
Have you ever tried to win him over by your acts of goodness?

I have.

I hate to say it, but I have totally tried to be the good girl, the impressive one. You know, the one who everyone says, “Wow, that girl has it all together.”

Even today, I tried my absolute hardest with my husband. He had told me what he needed and I was going to SO impress him. I was going to show him who’s boss! Who was “on it”!

Except for one thing, I’m not boss – God is.  Sometimes, I need some reminders.

So, even though I stood ready to show off, in the end, all I ended up showing off was a wounded ego.

I fell down. I messed up again.

So often, the fact of the matter is that my best efforts are simply – bad. My best efforts lead me to confront my worst fears as devastation overwhelms me. It’s almost like I was expecting a blockbuster show, but ended up with a meaningless charade. My heart feels empty and my best efforts worthless.

“…and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags…” (Is. 64:6)

The prideful do fall. (Prov. 16:8)

Was God teaching the arrogant one who is boss?
Does God look down on me and chide me for who I am?

Does he look and say, “There she goes again, that Kelly, she can’t ever just trust me.”?
“She can’t ever do anything right. Sure, I love her, but really, get it together girl!”

When I immerse Word of God, I see he doesn’t condemn me – and he doesn’t condemn you either.

He sees more than a problem child.
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (Eph. 1:5)

He sees more than a weak failure of a person.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made… (Ps. 139:14)

He sees higher than our continual mess-ups.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. (Is. 55:8)

He sees farther than our painful past – straight into a fresh future.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! (Isaiah 43:19)

He offers us abundant power that far transcends our largest limitations.
He offers help and humility that conquers our greatest barriers.
He offers hope that leaves us the opposite of hopeless.

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. (Luke 10:19)

We have extraordinary power – in Christ. He has poured his authority all over us. His power transcends mistakes, the past and circumstances. All through God, all the time, all the days, all weaknesses fade away and all love pours down on us from high.

Will we choose to see it? To embrace it? To live in his power? Or, will we live wishing God had given us something more?

Wanting to be More

Wanting to Be More

Have you ever tried to be better than yourself – for God?
Have you ever tried to win him over by your acts of goodness?

I have.

I hate to say it, but I have totally tried to be the good girl, the impressive one. You know, the one who everyone says, “Wow, that girl has it all together.”

Even today, I tried my absolute hardest with my husband. He had told me what he needed and I was going to SO impress him. I was going to show him who’s boss! Who was “on it”!

Except for one thing, I’m not boss – God is.  Sometimes, I need some reminders.

So, even though I stood ready to show off, in the end, all I ended up showing off was a wounded ego.

I fell down. I messed up again.

So often, the fact of the matter is that my best efforts are simply – bad. My best efforts lead me to confront my worst fears as devastation overwhelms me. It’s almost like I was expecting a blockbuster show, but ended up with a meaningless charade. My heart feels empty and my best efforts worthless.

“…and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags…” (Is. 64:6)

The prideful do fall. (Prov. 16:8)

Was God teaching the arrogant one who is boss?
Does God look down on me and chide me for who I am?

Does he look and say, “There she goes again, that Kelly, she can’t ever just trust me.”?
“She can’t ever do anything right. Sure, I love her, but really, get it together girl!”

When I immerse Word of God, I see he doesn’t condemn me – and he doesn’t condemn you either.

He sees more than a problem child.
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (Eph. 1:5)

He sees more than a weak failure of a person.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made… (Ps. 139:14)

He sees higher than our continual mess-ups.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. (Is. 55:8)

He sees farther than our painful past – straight into a fresh future.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! (Isaiah 43:19)

He offers us abundant power that far transcends our largest limitations.
He offers help and humility that conquers our greatest barriers.
He offers hope that leaves us the opposite of hopeless.

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. (Luke 10:19)

We have extraordinary power – in Christ. He has poured his authority all over us. His power transcends mistakes, the past and circumstances. All through God, all the time, all the days, all weaknesses fade away and all love pours down on us from high.

Will we choose to see it? To embrace it? To live in his power? Or, will we live wishing God had given us something more?

Wanting to be More

Wanting to Be More

Have you ever tried to be better than yourself – for God?
Have you ever tried to win him over by your acts of goodness?

I have.

I hate to say it, but I have totally tried to be the good girl, the impressive one. You know, the one who everyone says, “Wow, that girl has it all together.”

Even today, I tried my absolute hardest with my husband. He had told me what he needed and I was going to SO impress him. I was going to show him who’s boss! Who was “on it”!

Except for one thing, I’m not boss – God is.  Sometimes, I need some reminders.

So, even though I stood ready to show off, in the end, all I ended up showing off was a wounded ego.

I fell down. I messed up again.

So often, the fact of the matter is that my best efforts are simply – bad. My best efforts lead me to confront my worst fears as devastation overwhelms me. It’s almost like I was expecting a blockbuster show, but ended up with a meaningless charade. My heart feels empty and my best efforts worthless.

“…and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags…” (Is. 64:6)

The prideful do fall. (Prov. 16:8)

Was God teaching the arrogant one who is boss?
Does God look down on me and chide me for who I am?

Does he look and say, “There she goes again, that Kelly, she can’t ever just trust me.”?
“She can’t ever do anything right. Sure, I love her, but really, get it together girl!”

When I immerse Word of God, I see he doesn’t condemn me – and he doesn’t condemn you either.

He sees more than a problem child.
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (Eph. 1:5)

He sees more than a weak failure of a person.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made… (Ps. 139:14)

He sees higher than our continual mess-ups.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. (Is. 55:8)

He sees farther than our painful past – straight into a fresh future.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! (Isaiah 43:19)

He offers us abundant power that far transcends our largest limitations.
He offers help and humility that conquers our greatest barriers.
He offers hope that leaves us the opposite of hopeless.

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. (Luke 10:19)

We have extraordinary power – in Christ. He has poured his authority all over us. His power transcends mistakes, the past and circumstances. All through God, all the time, all the days, all weaknesses fade away and all love pours down on us from high.

Will we choose to see it? To embrace it? To live in his power? Or, will we live wishing God had given us something more?

Finding Renewal in Christ

Finding Renewal in Christ

The other day, as we (meaning my husband) shoveled back the snow from our house, I spotted this:

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I was amazed at how, even though 2-feet of snow had covered these daffodils for months, they will were still pushing up from the ground.

How does that happen?

The truth is – nothing can thwart God’s plan. Nothing can hold back his growth.

Things may look covered by foot-after-foot of weight,
but he is still at work underneath it all.

When the time – is the time – his seed will grow.
When our hearts are ready – he will bloom us.
When our life is perfectly prepared – our beauty can be seen by all.

Yet, the deep freeze is part of the process. We sometimes have to endure the cold times to get to the warm times, blooming times. And sometimes we have to endure the cold times, to appreciate the warm times.

So, when life gets grey, dull and gloomy, this does not mean that God is not at work, because he is. Even if we can’t see what he is doing, even if we feel like we are buried under pounds of pounds of snow, even if it seems that spring will never come and our season will never change, God is always at work.

We don’t have to see it to believe it.
We believe it because he has promised it.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. (Heb. 11:1)

I have felt buried so many times. I have been buried under finances, under a promised diagnosis of MS, under relationship strains, under worries, under anxiety, under my past, under a hopeless future – my friends, you probably name it – and I have been under it.

Yet, looking back, I see that God was always growing me. He was always restoring what should have been dead. 

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. (1 Pet. 5:10)

I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. (Joel 2:25)

Whether the locusts ate it, the land froze it or
your heart buried it,
God restores, rebuilds and renews..

He renews the buds that are within and waters them to grow again.

Seasons come and seasons go, but God’s love endures forever.

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Mercy for a Broken Spirit

Mercy for a Broken Spirit

I gossip.
I lie.
I am prideful.
Jealous.
Discontent.
Impatient.

When I see the face of my sins, it nearly breaks my spirit. It burdens.

But, broken pieces draw us to the original crafter –
the one who puts all things back together again.

And in his light I can see:

I did everything wrong, but Christ did everything right.
I did nothing of worth, but he is entirely worthy.
I dropped the ball, but he holds it – the entire earth is in his hands.
I am destined to death, but he took death on the cross so I wouldn’t have to.

I come to him a broken daughter
and he leaves me as a beautiful bride.

Mercy. Mercy after mercy, time after time, minute after minute, offense after offense the Lord never stops extending, keeps offering and keeps keeping on – after a broken heart that continually draws wayward from him.

What I don’t deserve, he gives. What I am not, he is.

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. (La. 3:23)

He never stops giving. 24-hours later, new mercies arrive.
His ways are greater than our days.

His mercy makes us worthy and his grace keeps us blessed.

Mercy definition (Google):
compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.

Grace definition (Google):  
the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.

Mercy brings us into the goodness of God; grace is the extension of it.
Mercy saves us from punish; grace brings us into joy.
Mercy takes what was ours (punishment); grace gives us what isn’t.

What we don’t deserve we get. What we deserve was taken from us. In this, all offenses are seen through a new light, the light of Jesus sitting in glory on high.

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

Linking up with Suzie Eller’s #LiveFreeThursday and Five Minute Friday.

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Beating Inflating Fears

Beating Inflating Fears

Fear grips me. I feel rattled.
It holds me.I can’t escape it.
It comes when I least expect it and it won’t leave when I tell it to.

Many times fear leaves me confused, with a heart covered with layers and layers of knots.

I know I am not supposed to do it, but I still do. The more I try not to, the more I do. So, what do I do?

Join me as I discuss my journey through my fears, my journey to beat them and God’s hand in my deliverance. Continue reading as I dive into the depths of my heart to uncover the release of fear on Katie Reid’s fabulous blog, Tightly Wound Woman.

Continue Reading…

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Living as a Disappointment (Linkup)

Living as a Dissapointment

Living as a disappointment

I lived much of my life feeling disappointed in myself.

I heard the message loud and clear, I needed to more than myself.

You got a job? You should have got this other one.
You are doing this? You should be doing that.
You are going there? Anywhere, but there.
You are thinking this? What about that?
You are saying this? I think you should say this.

Underneath the questioning, was the underlying thought that my decisions were not good enough, my thoughts not worthy and my perceptions were invalid.

Over and over again, I heard, I was not enough.

So, either I would follow the safe path, trying to be enough or I would go my own way, knowing I would never be enough. But, either way, I always knew that I would disappoint and not be enough.

All roads led to the same destination – a sea of complete inadequacy – raging sky high with waves of fear and uncertainty.

A standard was set for me and I knew, no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, I could never meet it.

Have you ever felt this way?
Have you ever felt pulled down by the disappointment that is – you?
In a place where you ask, “What’s the use? I am going to fail anyway.”

It can make us feel powerless and out of control.

I’ve battled these feelings for much of my life, so know I know how it goes. But, now, more often than not, I am seeking to lay these burdens down at the foot of the cross. 

I lay down, rest my heart and soak in the height of love, then I see everything – differently. My low, available and open position allows me to see the reaches of something far greater than my hurts of the past – it lets me see the power of my Savior. Here, his power starts transforming and reforming and his light makes things right – failings drop out of sight. Here, I dwell under the power of his healing not feelings.

I see him accept death on the cross. I can see his acceptance of me.
I see true love in his suffering. I see his true love for me.
I see him high and lifted. I see that he can do all things.

To see Jesus is to no longer see disappointment,
but to solely see God’s divine appointment to use disappointment
as an appointment to humble myself to his will.

 

The irony of laying it down is that my purpose, my passion, my goals, my hopes and my dreams are actually unveiled as I lay down my ways to his. We expect it to go one way, yet he actually works another.

Everything belongs to him, so doesn’t it make sense?

The more we submit, the more we actually see his direction.

He knows what he wants to do with us. We belong to him. We were bought with a price. We are no longer owned by failings, but by the one who is always prevailing, overcoming and loving. He bought our failings and is shaping them more and more into something of worth.

Here, he confirms our deepest identity.
Here, he validates our worth.
Here, he says, “It doesn’t matter if you feel powerless and unsure, because I am most powerful and entirely sure.”

Amen, Father, we will go! We will walk through, and by, and for – your power at work. We come in weakness, but leave with your power.

I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. (1 Cor. 2:3)

That power (the power of Christ within) is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, (Eph. 1:19-20)

By the power of Christ at work in us, we can drop pre-conceived notions of who we should be.

By the power of Christ, we can let go of people’s opinions of what we should believe.

By the power of Christ, we can let go of the fear of disappointment.

What area do you feel disappointed? Less than? Unsure? Wavering? Reliant on others? Lost?

God calls you to lay down, open your arms, receive his love, see his goodness, taste his redemption, breathe in his glory and hear his affirmations. He has you.

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Living for Christ in a Selfie World

Less selfie and more Christ

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I’ve got something kind of embarrassing to say, something I kind of hate to admit, but I am sharing it today in hopes that God’s truth helps me overcome this annoying habit.

Here goes: I can’t stop making everything about me.

How that person responded – is about me.
My ministry work – is about me.
Someone getting chosen above me – is about me.
My husband’s response – is about me.
My children’s behavior – is about me.
The response of another – is about me.

Can you see where this is going?

Somehow everything centers around – me, myself and I. And even when I say it doesn’t, I lie.

I don’t want to do this, but it is almost like I can’t help myself. We live in a “selfie” world.

We take pictures of ourselves in the moment and all we can think about is how we performed, how we looked and what kind of response we will get. It is almost as if our worth is dependent on “likes”.  It is almost like others “comments” are vitally important in our missions.

So, I wonder, how do I really die to self instead of pretending all that matters is myself?

God says: Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence. (Mt. 23:25)

I certainly don’t want to be that dirty Pharisee, but my cup is just the same – dirty on the inside and shiny on the outside. I lure others over with my outer beauty, until they come closer to see what I have inside. Truly, no one wants to be filled by a cup that only pours out black, dirty and tainted water. There is no living water there. Dirty unclean vessels can’t love as Christ would – nor live as he would.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; (Phil. 2:3)

How do I get over myself to dive into God’s will?

Because I am tired of swinging on the pendulum of righteousness – either I swing too far to the left and am completely inadequate and selfish or I swing too far to the right and am completely over-righteous and prideful.  

Back and forth I go.

Have you ever felt this way? When we ride this swing, we can never seem to rest in the peace of the Lord. We are always striving to be more, to do more and to give more. Both a guilty shame-filled heart and an overzealous righteous heart both have roots in the “me first” mentality.  

When one falls down, the other side lifts higher. Back and forth they go.

Yet, the middle place on the pendulum, the still place, is the place of love, grace, mercy; it is a restful place.

God calls us here.

So, how do we come to this resting place of stillness, shamelessness and surrender?
The place where we are neither self-centered or self-inflated, but simply self-less? 

Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. He has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity… (2 Tim. 1:8-9)

Note:
– The power of God saved us.
– The power of God called us.
– The power of God leads us in our holy calling.
– The power of God works not through our works but through his.
– The power of God works as he purposes.
– The power of God bestows grace over grace.

This is the power we walk in. Anything more or anything less than God’s power is just the endless movement of a pendulum that keeps heading in the wrong direction.

It is solely by the power of Christ that we do anything. When we work through his power, his power at work within us makes us selfless, humble and full of grace.

It reminds me of the lyrics of “Turn your Eyes Upon Jesus”:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

We fade, Christ brightens.
We become selfless, he becomes radiant.
He shines, we take the back burner.

Not by the power of our own might, but only by the power of the great God we have in sight.

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