Category - faith

The Devil’s Primary Tactic

July 19, 2023

Blog Post title: The Devil’s Primary Tactic

Picture Adam and Eve…enjoying the love, the connectedness, the intimacy, the Voice and the beauty of God in the garden. What could have been better? The aroma of floral scents visiting them… The cool breeze of His love whisking over them… The sound of freedom regularly affirming who they were with Him… The wonder of His fruit at the ready. The fabulous connectedness of healthy family…

And then, the fall…
when they messed up…
and everything changed because it was all their fault…
and they saw what they did…
and hated their nakedness and ickiness…
and experienced a heavy weight of shame…
and tried to fix everything with their own hands…
to make everything better…
fashioning some fig leaves to cover over their mistake…
by protecting themselves…
by taking things into their own hands…
by hiding out from the One who would know how bad they were…
to stay out of His sight…
because He must be mad…
and because they knew they were bad, bad icky kiddies.

Shame is a primary tactic in the devil’s game. The confusion that comes in from sin tricks us. Then, it isolates us, driving us away from God, making us hate ourselves.

I can only write about this because I know about all this. Friends, I hate shame. I hate it!!!! It works like this: We mess up with a family member and then want to run away from them. We act how we don’t want to and then suppose God is angry at us. We remember that old sin we did long ago and think it is still making God angry at us. We remind ourselves how far from God we’ve been lately and determine the road is hard to get back to Him. We are angry at ourselves for how we acted and then want to punish ourselves to get better. We call ourselves names because we hate the sin we see. We judge our performance and try to make up ways to do better. We think we are not good enough, or we are too much and then judge ourselves.

What does shame look like in your life?

The devil uses shame to drive us away from His Name, The Name Above All Names. The devil insists we need to take things into our own hands because God will not be there for us anymore…

Yet, scripture tells us another story:

“Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. The Good News has been preached all over the world, and I, Paul, have been appointed as God’s servant to proclaim it.” (Col. 1:22-23)

Friends, the only way to beat the devil at his own game is to believe in the power of His Name, Jesus! Jesus has transferred us from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of light. We are not striving to be in His love — we are already in it! Nothing can separate us from His love!

Now, it is so easy to repent of sin. We cast off what was and, immediately, move back into what is: we are holy, blameless, we stand before Him without a single fault.

Friends, nothing — no sin, no mess up, no mistake, no person — can separate us from His love!

Prayer: Father, thank you that we are not in shame anymore because we are in your love. Thank you for your son Jesus who saved us and is continually saving us. We are forever grateful. Help us to live by our new nature and not to revert back to our old nature. May we not return again to a yoke of slavery. We are loved, accepted, wanted, holy and blameless. We praise your name for all these things. We boldly come into your presence for all the grace and mercy we so desperately need. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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When Fear Grips You…

July 3, 2023

purposefulfaith

faith, fear, hope

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The 2-year old little girl and her mother weren’t even a half-a-foot deep yet, but the mom was steadily trying to guide the little girl into the water. The girl would have none of it.

She was yelling her head off and crying.
It’s scary!!!
I don’t want to!
I’m afraid of what will happen!
Will I be okay?
Will I make it?

Many of us are like this little girl. We aren’t even a foot deep into a horrible situation and we’re sure we are dying! The worst shark is about to come and rip off our legs. The rip current will pull us out into the tides. We don’t know what is in that water…

I can’t!
I won’t!
What if?!

This little girl, toe in the water, gripped her mother and screamed.

The mother, like a lifeguard, held her. And, then I heard her speak words of comfort, “You are safe, I am right here.”

I didn’t look long enough to see if the girl calmed down, but I did stop to think about her calming words, because isn’t this how God speaks to us?

“You are safe,” “You will be okay”, “I am right here.”

When we know He is near, fear disappears. God has this. God is bigger than what I face. Earthly circumstances don’t move me because God owns the Earth.

This doesn’t mean we won’t walk through tough stuff, but knowing who we are walking with changes everything.

The Savior.
The Healer.
The Provider.
The Restorer.
The Resurrection Life Power.
The Giver.
The Hope of Glory.
He is with us.

“I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” (Ps. 16:8)

We can be a child in the arms of our BIG daddy-God. He is near when we fear. He is a help in a time of trouble. He knows what is in the waters He is leading us through. He is famous for parting Red Seas. He is notorious for making fish show up out of nowhere. He is remembered for walking on water.

What can our God not do, when we trust Him? When we know that He is close? When we remember how much He cares?

Prayer: Father God, you are amazing. You want me. You care for me. You chose me. You still want me. Help me to trust that you are near to me. Help me to not be shaken and to walk with you, through all things. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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My “Oh-Crud” Moment…

June 29, 2023

purposefulfaith

faith, hope, Love & Health

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Oh crud.

Like me, have you ever had an “oh-crud moment” when you knew what you were supposed to do, but you didn’t do it?

It can happen when you know you should respond lovingly, but you still go for the low blow with your words.

It can happen when you sense Holy Spirit saying not to look at a social media thread, but there you go anyway.

It can happen when you’re sure that God wants you to share Jesus with people, and then you just don’t.

It can happen when you feel called in a certain direction and then just trash that prompting.

My “oh-crud moment” didn’t just happen blatantly; it happened casually…

You see, my son kept coming in my room before his bedtime. Beforehand, my husband and I had made it EXPLICITLY clear that, before bed, we didn’t want him to keep coming in our room and asking us questions, because we needed time to wind-down.

Yet, there he was — jumping on our bed.

“Son,” I said. “Please go to your room and I will be there shortly to say goodnight.”

He kept jumping.

“Son, please listen and head to your room to read a book.”

He, like a slow turtle, made a move towards the edge of the bed.

“Son, we love you very much, but we also don’t want to ask again!”

We had asked 3 times. And…that’s when it hit me — Oh my goodness, delayed obedience is straight-up disobedience.

Just as I shouldn’t have to ask my son more than once, God shouldn’t have to ask me more than once. If I find it horribly disrespectful and dishonoring to have to ask my son repeatedly, how much more does God feel about my abandoning His leading and disobeying his prompting?

Oh crud.

“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” (Ja. 4:17)

Conviction fell on me. My Lord shouldn’t have to ask, me, His servant, more than once.

I am sorry, Father.

After apologizing to God, there was still a bugging, pressing question annoying me. It was this: Can I really change? Can I really start listening and stop disobeying?

Friends, I have done a lot of — not listening. I want to honor God, but for some reason I am afraid I won’t obey when he wants me to.

I think Paul understood, ” I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.” (Romans 7:15-17)

And here is where Paul gives us powerful wisdom. If I am hyper focused on my sin-nature, all I will see is the nature of my sin. But, if I am walking in the abundant and equipping nature of His grace, I will be empowered by it.

God has all we need to help us go right, do right and love right, by the power of His might.

All we need to do is to ask for His help and to be willing to go a new way.

Prayer: Father, I want your help to obey. Franky, I need your help to obey. I want to honor you in everything I do. I pray that any spirit of fear that keeps me from following you, be bound. I pray that any pride that preserves my flesh, be brought low. I pray that any part of me that doubts myself, would be healed. I ask for all the grace I need to honor you in word, in thought, and in deed, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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What The Enemy Can’t Stand

June 22, 2023

purposefulfaith

devil, faith, hope

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Standing in a hallway, I wanted to do what was right in God’s sight.

I remembered back a couple days ago…how I stated my opinion in a group meeting, how I stood for what I believed in, how I spoke up and used my voice. Did I come off too strong? Maybe. Plus, I sensed one man was not too happy with me. I didn’t agree with his opinion.

I knew he was only 20 feet away, in the room next to the hallway.

Wanting to do what was right, I stuck my head into the room and I said to him, “I just want to apologize if I came off strong the other day…”

He answered in a way that I did not expect, he said, “Absolutely, you did!!!! You are ___.” He called me a slur name and went on a short tirade.

Everything in me was shocked. I was apologizing and, now, everything was going sideways. The words he was speaking were shocking. What would I do now? I had to defend myself! I had to tell him what my heart was! I had to tell him that this is no way to talk to me, didn’t I?

“When they hurled their insults at him (Jesus), he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Pet. 2:23)

Wanting to do what was right, wanting to trust my Savior to be my Defender, I took the insults…without speaking anything, but, “I am sorry”. I will tell you all — it wasn’t easy. I grabbed my two kids by hand, backed out of that room, and found refuge in a vacant room.

I started to cry. My sweet children heard it all and tended to my heart.

I felt so loved. God defended my tender spirit as I saw their outpouring love. It was a momma moment that was so precious. I got to tell them how I trust Jesus to defend me. They got to see that trust in action.

None of this is because I am so great; I am not. In fact, I probably was too overzealous in that initial meeting. In any case, I saw the man today, weeks later… As he passed by, I smiled and said hello.

My kids were with me. They asked, “Mommy, was it hard to do that?”

I said, “Yes, but I don’t want the enemy to win. And, if I am angry or resentful, the enemy wins.”

I hope my kids got the message, in reality — love is the only force the enemy can’t defeat; against love, the enemy can’t ever win.

Who might you be prone to argue against? What if you gave up your fight? What value is it adding anyway? What if you trusted God to fight on your behalf?

You know, I can’t help but think — we don’t fight against flesh and blood. We fight against a real-live enemy who is dead-set on luring us into bitterness, anger, rage, online quarrels, resentment and futility. We don’t have to take his bait.

I am not saying there is not a time that we don’t stand up for ourselves or use our voice (there most certainly is times God calls us to do this), but what I am saying is — we must remember: Love never fails. And, Jesus laid down His life for His friends.

Laying down can be hard to do, but loving others is always a winning game in God’s eyes.

Prayer: Father God, forgive me for being so easily offended. Forgive me for my anger. Forgive me for my sin. I am coming before you today, to humble myself in your sight. I want to be love, as you are love. I want to be gracious and kind, as you are towards me. Please give me all the grace I need today to let go of my rights and to find myself wholly loved, defended and cared for in you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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God, Please Help!

June 9, 2023

purposefulfaith

doubt, faith, hope

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When I was a little girl, we had the coolest way to wash our hands. We pressed a little peddle on the ground. This caused a water-fountain like flow to shoot out, in a circle of directions. It was a sprinkler in a sink. I loved it! The high arch of the water made me feel like I was washing in a rainbow. There was more than enough water for all us girls to circle around. There was a bounty of water for everyone!

It was fun.

I imagine this water sort of experience is what the woman at the well encountered too. There she was, all by herself in the heat of the day, with all those husbands in her past.

What did she see when she walked up to that well? Did she see a lack of good men…? The filth of her own mistakes…? All the friends she didn’t have…? Hatred for life she was living…? Her own future as an impossible case…?

And then comes along comes Jesus.

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” (Jo. 4:10)

(Meaning, she could access fountains upon fountains of all she ever needed, but never realized she wanted)

“…Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (Jo. 4:13)

(In other words, for her, this fountain would never run dry or run out)
15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water….”
And then, off she went, filled, like a jug, with living water, telling everyone, everywhere, all about the man who told her all she ever did. There was something in this water; she became the first evangelist. And, she was good at it!
The living waters this woman drank of — were abundant, resplendent, and calling-activating.

And, do we even realize it — the same waters are available to us today, my friends?!

“Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” (Jo. 7:38)

All the living water available to her is now made available to us.

So, how do we access it?

Oh friend, we take the time to drink deeply of God. We take a pause to soak in His word. We take what is naturally afflicting us and give it no more credence against a God who is all powerful…

I realize, some of us have experienced a time of lack, so much so that we can’t see the abundance of God anymore. I realize, some of us are so carefully looking at what God hasn’t done, that we can’t see what He is doing. I realize that some of us are so upset at ourselves, it seems we can’t receive God’s grace anymore. I realize some of us are so upset at a spouse, love feels impossible again.

So what? The flow of living water is so abundant, so plentiful and so filled with equipping power it can do anything — and everything — through you!

The fountains speak a different story.There is a deeper access point you can drink from. It is through the Spirit of God. It is via the flow of God’s true and real covenantal promises, His mercy and His love, regained, for you. It found in worship that comes from all your heart.

Then, like this woman, will you be able to say, “All my fountains are in you.” (Ps. 87:7)

The fountains of God are the empowerment of God.

When you access His flow, you will mean what you say and say what you mean. You will be filled to overflow! Your whole past will look different. Your future will have new gleam and glisten to it. Your God will excite you again!

Prayer: Father God, may You be the source of all my joy and all my life. May I continually walk fully found in You. May I overflow with the greatness of who You are and what You do. May I abound, in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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Encouragement that will Refresh your Soul

May 31, 2023

purposefulfaith

faith, hope, peace

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This morning, I marveled at the flowers before me. I couldn’t believe it! The small and stodgy stems of the calla lilies my husband bought for me weeks ago, were now perky, tall, radiant and in full bloom. For weeks these things had lived, fully alive and shooting higher than I ever expected!

I marveled because these flowers were completely unlike the flowers I put in a vase. Those flowers are droopy and dead within a week.

What’s the difference?

The difference is these calla lilies (which were my wedding bouquet flowers, by the way) are deeply connected to their life source. They are potted and not cut off at their roots. Instead, they have a deep root system which soaks up water. They are next to the window. I notice how they are reaching for the sun.

All of this makes me realize how vitally important it is that I live the same way. When I am cut off from my life-source – when I am busy and self-sufficient, when I am worried and doing my own thing, when I am wrestling with my flesh, when I get full of self-will, when I do not live by the Spirit of God, when I am worn out and looking for numbing outlets other than God, when I am in my own mind rather than praising and worshipping him – I live cut off at the roots. I wilt within a week. I get tired and cranky in life.

But, when I stay connected, when I lean on Him in trust, when I pray to Him with an authentic heart, when I think of Him during the day, when I open my ears to what He is saying, when I talk to Him as I go through the hours of what feels routine, when I sing a little song, when I meditate on His Word, when I worship with all my heart, I soak up nourishment from His living water, because my roots are deep. I perk up. I find life. My beauty shines radiantly, in the light of The Son.

“But blessed are those who trust in the LORD
and have made the LORD their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop producing fruit.” (Jer. 17:7-8 AMPC)

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” (Jo. 15:4)

Are you connected and growing or are you cut off and wilting? How can you re-engage your prayer-life, your heart connection and your vital union with God?

What would it look like for you to renew connection to restore your heart and soul?

You know, the difference between being full and alive and dead and droopy is often how much we are relishing in the goodness of the Lord.

I want to be like the beautiful lilies, happy and perky, tall and pretty, growing and green, vital and leaning towards the Son. Today, I will choose to talk with God and tell Him all the little ways I love Him.

Prayer: Father God, you are so good. You are so marvelous. You are so perfect in all your ways. Reconnect my heart to yours. Renew my Spirit in all my ways. Keep me in constant prayer and connection with you. You are the source of my life. I love you. In Jesus’ name. Amen

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Your Outlook Makes All The Difference

May 24, 2023

purposefulfaith

faith, grace, hope, Love & Health

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I sent a text message, then instantly deleted it.

My friend wrote, “Kelly, what do you need prayer for?”

My initial text answer was cliché, a rote response that seemed right. But, what was it that I really needed prayer for? I deleted what I wrote and paused. What do I really want? What do I really need? The more I thought, my mind traveled…

And, before I knew it, something caught my eye. I picked it up. All it was, was a piece of foil that someone in my family trashed on the table. But, when the light shined on it from the nearby window? What that foil looked like on the table was — a diamond.

Light changes everything.

In Ephesians, Paul prayed, “I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.” (Eph. 1:18 NIV)

Light changes things. Light makes everything look different. Light gives us understanding. Light tells us who we are — and demystifies who we are not. Light brings hope — and confidence that God has a plan. Light illuminates our calling. God’s light on our life is more valuable than any diamond.

Light is the aha-moment! It may make us say, “Wow. Now, I know what I need to do!” Or, “Whoa, I didn’t think about it like that; now everything makes a lot of sense.” Or, “Oh, I misunderstood everything that person was saying and now we can restore loving connection.” Or, “Oh my goodness, I know God is wanting me to love in this way.” Or, “Wow, God I understand Your immensity and sovereignty now!”

Light lets us see all things in life, in right order.

Where do you need the eyes of your heart enlightened so you can regain hope and confidence?

God’s light lets us see where – and how – He intends for us to go. It reveals His truth and His way.

I texted my friend and essentially requested, “Please pray that God illuminates my heart with His light so I understand His calling and what He wants me to see, through Him.”

Light gives hope and illuminates God’s best paths. It refocuses our outlook. It reframes our future.

Let’s pray: Father, open the eyes of my heart. Open my eyes so I can see what you want me to see. Open my eyes so I can regain hope and confidence in you and through you. Show me what you know that I need to see. Reveal to me real understanding of who you are and who I am in you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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As You Think, So You Are…

May 2, 2023

purposefulfaith

faith, grace, hope

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My friend, about to get in the car loaded up with her boys, was saying final goodbyes to me, when I made a colossal verbal gaffe…

Wanting to please her son and connect with him, I advised him, “You know, if you had me as your mom, I’d take you, right now, out to the gas station and buy you a super yummy treat — whatever you wanted!”

The second I blurted these words, I wanted to take them back. Has that ever happened to you?

My words silently communicated to this son (and his mother):
I am better than your mom…
I have good things for you that she doesn’t…
I am great; my ways are the best!

The arrogance! I have no idea where this obnoxiousness came from.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jer. 17:9 NIV)

The deceit of our heart can impact the words of our mouth, if we fail to pause and use self-control. Our thoughts affect our words our words affect our relationships and our relationships impact the course of our life.

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…” (Prov. 23:7 KJV)

Do you know the thoughts of your heart? How are they directing your words? Do you speak in haste? Do you say what you don’t mean to say? Do you get angry easily? Do you give advice to people when you don’t want to? Do you speak critical, condemning or negative words?

Did you know the face of your world will change as the thoughts of your heart are transformed by the power of God’s grace?

I received God’s grace and apologized to my friend, immediately. I examined my heart and discovered a need to be loved. I don’t need man’s love, I have God’s. He completely accepts me. I repented and received Jesus’ grace to move forward in a new way. I took my thought captive.

You can too.

Tonight starts the 4-Month Take Every Thought Captive Coaching Intensive. This is a free training to help us all stand strong of mind during these times, to know who we are in Christ Jesus, and to be transformed so that we can discern God’s will in our lives! Again, this event is entirely FREE with a book purchase.

Get “Take Every Thought Captive”, then sign up here for the coaching program!
Also, did you know — achieving goals is far easier and more reachable when two gather together as accountability partners? Consider inviting a friend!

I am developing “Check-In Questions” that can be texted to help keep you accountable during the week. Build relationship and grow together. Simply forward this email and invite a friend to journey along with you. Two are better than one!

About the Book, “Take Every Thought Captive”
In Take Every Thought Captive: Exchange Lies of the Enemy for the Mind of Christ, author and speaker Kelly Balarie encourages readers to seize the power of God’s Word to not only profess truth, but possess it in their mind, heart, and actions.
Take Every Thought Captive helps readers:

• transform their minds and release the worries, burdens, and lies from the enemy
• pray through times of mental and emotional strife
• become warriors and fight for God’s plan and purpose
• use God’s Word proactively instead of living defensively and defeated

Prayer: Father God, I ask you to renew me in the pattern of my mind that I will be able to discern the perfect, pleasing, and good will of God. I know that I cannot do this in my strength, but I can do this by the power of the Holy Spirit. I ask for Your grace and power to do so. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Overcoming The War in Our Mind

April 19, 2023

purposefulfaith

Contentment, faith, Holy Spirit, hope, peace

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Here I was talking to a group of people about taking thoughts captive, yet all I could hear in my mind as I spoke was:

No one can understand you, Kelly. You’re not even making any sense. They don’t know what in the world you are saying. You sound stupid. You are talking way too long!

You sound like, “Blah…Blah…Blah…”

I was speaking, but hearing a barrage of criticism in my head.

Ever been there?

Maybe you are around a group of women and you hear, “You are not enough. No one likes you.”

Maybe you are at work, talking in a meeting and you hear, “They all think your idea is stupid.”

Maybe you are parenting your kids and you hear, “Why bother teaching them? They don’t care about anything you teach them.”

Maybe you are taking care of a parent, and you hear, “All your help is useless. They don’t feel loved by you and don’t like you.”

Maybe you are trying to love your husband and you hear, “It’s a hopeless cause. You may as well give up now.”

Hardly anyone ever talks to us as mean as our mind does. Hardly a person would discourage us the way our thoughts do.

You know, on that call, there was a side of me that felt like just giving up. Why bother trying when I am not communicating well enough? Why keep going when I sound like an idiot? But, I carried on… Why did I do this? Certainly, not because of me, but solely because I am familiar with the enemy of my soul.

The liar, lies.

“When (the devil) lies, he speaks what is natural to him, for he is a liar and the father of lies and half-truths.” (Jo. 8:44 AMP)

Yes, my thoughts felt real. I also know there is a real enemy of my soul who does what he does best — lies to me.

So, I pressed through… Through the onslaught… Through the mud… Through the doubt… Through the fear…

And, finally the call ended. I was off the radio show.

I let my husband know how horrible I did. He listened to the show and said, “Kelly, you did not do bad at all.”

He sent it out to some family friends. It blessed them.

Apparently, the devil was lying to me!

How might he be lying to you? In what ways has he been fooling you? How have thoughts held you back? Determined your actions and reactions? Stunted you? Made you to feel insecure?

Heads up — you don’t have to deal with the mental onslaught any longer! I want to invite you to take part in a 4-Month Take Every Thought Captive Coaching Intensive. I was going to charge for this event post-launch, however, I feel led to prepare the bride of Christ to stand strong of mind during these times, to know who we are in Christ Jesus, and to be transformed so that we can discern God’s will in our lives! With this, sI am offering this coaching course entirely for FREE with a book purchase.

Get “Take Every Thought Captive”, then sign up here for the coaching program!

Also, did you know — achieving goals is far easier and more reachable when two gather together as accountability partners? Consider inviting a friend! I am developing “Check-In Questions” that can be texted to help keep you accountable during the week. Build relationship and grow together. Simply forward this email and invite a friend to journey along with you. Two are better than one!

Take Every Thought Captive helps readers:
• transform their minds and release the worries, burdens, and lies from the enemy
• pray through times of mental and emotional strife
• become warriors and fight for God’s plan and purpose
• use God’s Word proactively instead of living defensively and defeated

Prayer: Father God, I ask you to renew me in the pattern of my mind that I will be able to discern the perfect, pleasing, and good will of God. I know that I cannot do this in my strength, but I can do this by the power of the Holy Spirit. I ask for your grace and power to do so. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

**Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Thinking Straight When People Treat You Wrong

April 10, 2023

purposefulfaith

Contentment, failure, faith, hope

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“I’m sorry.”

There, I said it! It felt good to finally get those two words off my chest. It meant I could rest. I’d done my part.

The person looked back at me and muttered, “I forgive you.” But, soon their actions spoke a different story. Every time I asked a question their response was quick and short. When I tried to make eye contact, they looked away. When I walked next to them, they directed conversation elsewhere.

I felt like the woman everyone hated. Remember her? She was the one caught in the act. She was unredeemable. She was unworthy.

““Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery.” (Jo. 8:4)

What do we do – with her?
There she was…the bad lady.
There she was…the one caught-red-handed.
There she was…the one who should have done better, but she didn’t.
There she was…right in the open, for all to see – her shame on display.

Stone her!!!!

I wonder, did this woman feel like she was being convicted 1,000 times? Like she couldn’t get off trial?

What do you do – when someone refuses to let you off the hook? For days? For years? For decades? When blame is still coming your way? When you can nearly feel the judgment?

What do you do when your mind spins out of control because you don’t know how to fix things? When their treatment hurts your insides?

I don’t have all the answers, my friend. I certainly don’t have everything figured out. But, I can share what I am still learning. Here it is:

1. I am not responsible for other people’s interpretation of events, their actions or retaliation.

After I have apologized to them and to God, I have done my part. I get in trouble when I take on another person’s burden as my responsibility. If they don’t want to forgive or release me from the offense they carry – that is not my duty to make them. That is between them and the Lord. I forgive, love in a healthy way, release the convicting work to the Lord and pray.

I think thoughts like, “God gave abundant grace to me, so I can extend abundant grace to them,” “I can be loving without being co-dependent. I do not base my worth on their response,” “I am responsible before the Lord to love others as I love myself. If I need to have some space, that is okay.”

2. Jesus experienced mistreatment, but He despised the shame.

Indeed, if Jesus was misunderstood, mistreated and hurt, and He was The Son of God, we cannot expect our life to be without these issues.

Jesus endured the worst pain, but scripture tells us, “He despised the shame” (Heb. 12:2). There are moments when we will have to endure suffering or go through harm. There are moments when we will have to die to us to become more alive to Him. At the same time, we don’t have to take on or absorb the shame. We can reject that, like Jesus did.

Think this way. Say to yourself: I am not shameful; thanks to Jesus’ work on the cross, I am holy and blameless in His sight. I don’t soak in people’s judgments, mean words or issues, I cast off that shame and I walk by His truth.

3. I am responsible for my own actions, words and responses.

Here, I think this way: I am powerful. I am powerful to change. I am powerful to apologize and to do a new thing. I am not obligated to please man, but I seek to please the Lord. I speak the truth in love. I exhibit the fruit of the Spirit by the grace of God. I, then, extend grace to others.

It can be hard to walk in the world, when so much comes at us. I get it. Not everyone will understand us. That is hard.

But, at the end of our day, we have one goal in our life. It is this:

“but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts.” (1 Thess. 2:4)

Sometimes, we figure we have to do something because it is the loving thing to do, but it is not love at all, it is obligation laced with bitterness. God calls us to authenticity and wholeheartedness. As we are honest and true before God, we can be honest and true before men.

“For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.” (Gal. 1:10)

In my case, even if man doesn’t forgive me, God does. I choose to remember that I am forgiven. What God says about me is what I choose to think about me. This is how I walk out true love and peace, trusting God to take care of the other person. I let go and let God.

Do you want to really let go and let God? Are you tired of the pressure to fix things, to handle everything and to manage life? Do you feel out of control? Why not begin to take your thoughts captive to find new freedom and life? For all who order the book today, they will get a free ebook of Battle Ready and beautiful wallpaper for your phone! Order here.

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Prayer: Father, relationships can be hard. Forgive me for trying to control. Forgive me for fearing man. Forgive me for taking things into my own hands. I trust you. I let go today. I believe you will defend me. I ask you to move in the relationships that I am struggling with. I ask you to help me to authentically love. And, if I need to create some space, give me the right words and the courage to do so. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

For all who order the book today, they will get a free ebook of Battle Ready and beautiful wallpaper for your phone! Order here. Then, visit www.ITakeThoughtsCaptive.com to get your free gifts!