I know what you all would say. I am blessed. I got invited as guest on Proverbs 31’s “Compel Conversation”.
You may say, “What is the issue, Kelly? This sounds like a good thing.”
It is. I agree, except for this likely question: “Tell us a little bit about yourself…”
What “little bit” does anyone even care about? Who am I?
Am I the middle schooler who won the Junior Olympics bronze medal for race-walking (yes, it’s as duckish and as funny-looking as it sounds)?
Am I the caffeinated and domesticated house-cleaner, laundry-pusher and child-rearer who works tirelessly to keep the house moving?
Am I the secret vagabond woman who loves to pack up all her goods and travel to some new and foreign land that she hasn’t traversed? After all, I am taping up brown cardboard yet again…
Am I the woman who hides in the bathroom when life gets tough and kids become screamers?
Am I fighter woman, the one constantly trying to keep one hand on God as my feet side-step this world detonating with traps?
Who am I? Who are you, really?
How do we sum up the 78 organs that make up “woman” when they are constantly changing? Growing. Shrinking. Aging. Becoming. Dying.
And why is there this demand that we know?
Will we ever know?
Because I don’t. And, I don’t know if I ever will. And perhaps this is the point. Perhaps we won’t really know our place in home, until we really arrive at home. Perhaps, we won’t see our tailor-made and perfected job in God’s kingdom until we walk right up to the gates – and pull them open – and walk right in.
Then, we will see…
Then, we won’t share a “little bit,” but we will radiate in “the everything” God made us to be.
Does all of this transcend to the here and now?
When do you feel alive?
When I stand in Christ’s love,
I become more aware that who I am is – one – made to love & be loved.
I see:
It is not who we are, but whose we are.
I am not scabbed, but healed by truth.
It’s not about me, but about how God sees me.
It is about where he wants to go…
this is when I come alive.
Perhaps, all these little moments – with God – they force the true out from the cracks.
The heaviness of me…
can’t stop the new growth of God.
It is not restrained by the weight of life…
A woman made in the image of Jesus.
A woman walking with his being in her.
A woman pursuing the dream of his cause.
A woman existing in his truth.
A woman fighting against her desires to win and succeed and – to walk all over people.
A woman looking to get untied, so she can rely on him.
A woman falling on her face, but getting back up again.
A woman healed from things that could have killed her.
This is a little bit about Kelly: A woman twirling in love. A woman listening to the Spirit’s leading. A woman always anticipating more doses of God’s best.
Who are you?
What heaviness is tying you down?
What might God’s love want to push out from within you?
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Kelly, your posts just keep getting better and better! 🙂 This is making me smile and breathing life into my spirit today. It encourages me to hear another woman say she’s not sure who she is either. (But we know we belong to God, right?)
So exciting about being featured on Compel. I can’t wait to see you there on Thursday!
[…] I’m linking up with Holly Barrett and A Purposeful Faith. […]
[…] Linking up this week with Kelly Balarie at Purposeful Faith, Jennifer Dukes Lee at #TellHisStory, Lyli Dunbar at #ThoughtProvokingThursday, Holley Gerth […]
Great question! One I am not sure I always have an answer for either. Being a child of Christ is my greatest identity and being a mom is one of my greatest gifts. I think I will start there. Thank you for writing words that challenge us to think beyond ourselves.
[…] with Crystal Storms, Kelly Balarie, Holly Barrett, Jennifer Dukes Lee, Holley Gerth, & Lyli […]
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So many women, myself included, battle answering that very question: Who am I? Often the answer teeters on the fulcrum of comparison or accomplishments. Good word today, my friend, as you point each of us to the One who truly knows our name. And you’re moving?! You go, girl! I’ll be setting your name at the throne. Keep us posted.
Congratulations on your Compel Conversations! I saw that in my inbox email from Compel and I said, “Way to go, Kelley! 🙂 Congrats!
So many times we start to base our worth on what we do or how we look, but none of that really determines who we are. We must continually remind ourselves that we are beloved daughters of God. He loves us no matter what we think of ourselves. Our worth is rooted in Him and that’s all we need. Thanks for reminding us of this, Kelly, and sharing your struggles. We all have those struggles, but praise God, He will bring us through every time. Blessings to you!
Praying for you Kelly as you let God speak through you. Great reminder to rest in His identity.
[…] I am linking up with Crystal Storm’s #IntentionalTtuesday, Kelly Balarie’s #RaRaLinkup. […]
I am so excited for you! I can’t wait to hear the conversation. I can imagine that kind of question with that kind of pressure really makes you take a long look at yourself. Thank you for sharing from the vulnerable place. I will be thinking about that question today.
Kelly,
This is absolutely lovely. Thank you for this gift of words and grace.
Beautiful words. May God fill you with His peace and presence as you continue in His will.
Blessings,
Dawn
Kelly, such a beautiful post. That’s a question I’ve asked over the years too. And I believe, as I grow closer to God, I’m seeing more of who He designed me to be. Who am I? I’m God’s girl.
May God give you His peace as you have this conversation. May He use the words He gives you in the hearts of many women. 🙂
So much THIS: “Perhaps we won’t really know our place in home, until we really arrive at home. Perhaps, we won’t see our tailor-made and perfected job in God’s kingdom until we walk right up to the gates – and pull them open – and walk right in.” Thanks Kelly!
Excited to hear you on Thursday, Kelly. Yay! — I am so “with you” on this one. When people ask me for my bio, I want to write just 3 words: Child of God. Does anything else matter? I am His. 🙂
This life is a challenge to push aside the many tensions, and voices seeking to identify and label me, to hear the still small voice of the Savior who speaks the truth, calls us to freedom, healing and his kingdom.
Father please call us to your side, to your side, and remind us each day that you have formed is , chosen us, and deeply and passionately love us. May we rest in that knowledge all our days.
[…] linking up with Holly Barrett’s Testimony Tuesday, Kelly Balarie’s #RaRaLinkup, Crystal Storms’ Intentional Tuesday, Holley Gerth’s Coffee for Your Heart, Arabah […]
Kelly,
Thank you for your faithfulness in sharing here so honestly. It really helps me. It really encourages me to keep going one step at a time as I answer God’s call to write. If you can do it, I can do it …right? Bless you so much.
Happy Wednesday!
Megs
Congratulations on your Compel Conversations! I will be praying for you.
I feel alive when I am in God’s presence, sharing His love or exploring His creation out in nature!
[…] this post with some amazing people and their spaces: Crystal at #IntentionalTuesday, Kelly at #RaRaLinkup, Holly at #TestimonyTuesday, and Jennifer at […]